. . . a stem cell transplant is NOT like a luxury vacation:
- You feel like the “morning after” without the “night before.”
- Forget laying out; 15 minutes of direct sun can cause 3rd degree burns.
- Risky activities aren’t hang-gliding and para-sailing but flossing and nail clipping.
- “Water sports” involve the bathroom, not the pool.
- Alcohol is only for cleaning your line caps and port site.
- Your “cocktails” aren’t mixed by a sexy bartender but by a pharmacist in hazmat gear.
- Your mouth feels like you’ve been sucking poison ivy Altoids.
- “Shooting up” means a neupogen shot.
- “Sleeping in” refers to anything after 5:30 a.m.
- The little blue pills you take have absolutely nothing to do with Viagra.
3 Comments
June 24, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I’ll stop being envious that you’re on a luxury vacation and I am not. I am only jealous of your wit and spirit in the face of feeling pretty crummy!
June 24, 2009 at 8:05 am
Having spent some time with you yesterday, I have to agree – this is no luxury vacation. Your sense of humor is just too strongly embedded to be supressed with a little thing like cancer. I love sparing with you verbally – alas, you usually win because of your quick wit but I am not giving up. Game on little bro!
June 23, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Hey Mike, this top ten list is fantastic. I used to work for a cord blood stem cell bank CBR and know all too well about the misconceptions of stem cell transplants. You can post this to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.