. . . a stem cell transplant is NOT like a luxury vacation:
- You feel like the “morning after” without the “night before.”
- Forget laying out; 15 minutes of direct sun can cause 3rd degree burns.
- Risky activities aren’t hang-gliding and para-sailing but flossing and nail clipping.
- “Water sports” involve the bathroom, not the pool.
- Alcohol is only for cleaning your line caps and port site.
- Your “cocktails” aren’t mixed by a sexy bartender but by a pharmacist in hazmat gear.
- Your mouth feels like you’ve been sucking poison ivy Altoids.
- “Shooting up” means a neupogen shot.
- “Sleeping in” refers to anything after 5:30 a.m.
- The little blue pills you take have absolutely nothing to do with Viagra.