Top Ten Ways . . . (2)

. . . a stem cell transplant is NOT like a luxury vacation:

  1. You feel like the “morning after” without the “night before.”
  2. Forget laying out; 15 minutes of direct sun can cause 3rd degree burns.
  3. Risky activities aren’t hang-gliding and para-sailing but flossing and nail clipping.
  4. “Water sports” involve the bathroom, not the pool.
  5. Alcohol is only for cleaning your line caps and port site.
  6. Your “cocktails” aren’t mixed by a sexy bartender but by a pharmacist in hazmat gear.
  7. Your mouth feels like you’ve been sucking poison ivy Altoids.
  8. “Shooting up” means a neupogen shot.
  9. “Sleeping in” refers to anything after 5:30 a.m.
  10. The little blue pills you take have absolutely nothing to do with Viagra.

3 thoughts on “Top Ten Ways . . . (2)

  1. I’ll stop being envious that you’re on a luxury vacation and I am not. I am only jealous of your wit and spirit in the face of feeling pretty crummy!

  2. Having spent some time with you yesterday, I have to agree – this is no luxury vacation. Your sense of humor is just too strongly embedded to be supressed with a little thing like cancer. I love sparing with you verbally – alas, you usually win because of your quick wit but I am not giving up. Game on little bro!

  3. Hey Mike, this top ten list is fantastic. I used to work for a cord blood stem cell bank CBR and know all too well about the misconceptions of stem cell transplants. You can post this to our site and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

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