A Grief Endured

I’ve started reading A Grief Observed, which C. S. Lewis wrote after losing his wife. First published in 1961, it explores the shadowed path I now find myself on.

The book is compiled from the four notebooks which Lewis used to vent and explore his grief. He illustrates the everyday trials of his life without Joy and explores fundamental questions of faith and theodicy. … The book is written sporadically, suggesting short bursts of thought, in a stream of consciousness style of writing. Some trains of thought are constantly revisited while others seem to be more fleeting.

I love Lewis’s insights and way with words, but I would change the title. “Observed” is too clinical; “endured” is more visceral. An observer can turn his head or close his eyes. One who endures has no escape except in all-too-short bouts of sleep.

comet with tail

Loss is an icy comet with a long, fiery tail; a falling boulder with echoes cascading down the valley. The event passes, the experience endures.

What it does to me remains to be seen.

“Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state
but a process.” – C. S. Lewis

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