Hundreds of people have prayed for me over the last four years, for which I am extremely grateful. In stark contrast, I find myself praying for very few people on a regular basis—even myself.
This disability stems from my frustration with prayer. I realize no one understands how it works, but my questions dissipate any confidence that my words and groanings will make a difference, and the Bible is clear that faith is a prerequisite to effective prayer. I suffer from the James Paradox.
While prayer is good for the “pray-er,” I suspect it seldom changes the immediate circumstances of the “pray-ee” or moves God to do something he wasn’t already planning. Hence my problem with supplication.
Prayer should be an intimate conversation with God about what he’s doing in the world. But when I pray it’s more like a monologue with me stating the obvious and hearing nothing but an echo in return. I realize the problem is with my equipment. It’s like a deep space antenna with so much pigeon poop on the dish it can’t receive a clear signal.
I purpose to spend more time shooting pigeons this year; hopefully it will improve my ability to detect the movement of a Dove.