I recently spoke at His Mansion and shared some of what I’ve been through the last four years—cancer, bone marrow transplant, 30 chemo treatments, 33 radiation treatments, auto accident, 7 surgeries, widowhood. Afterward someone asked why I just didn’t give up. Why fight so hard to stay alive?
I’m ready to go but I hang around for a few reasons:
It’s not my time yet: I have things to do, people to see, books to write, grandkids to spoil, wine to make. I choose to stay engaged until my equipment fails.
I don’t believe in reincarnation: I only get one outing in this theme park and I want to experience as much as I can, even if it includes rides that make me throw up.
I don’t want to hurt my loved ones: I saw—and felt—the agony caused by Susan’s death and I want to put off repeating that trauma as long as possible.
Still, life can be a heavy burden at times. Why does it have to be so stinkin’ convoluted and caustic? Why does God allow all the painful iterations when he could have written a cleaner OS for creation? (Think carefully before saying he was constricted by outside forces.)
I don’t have good answers for most of my “why” questions, but I choose to stick around and keep learning.
Why do you bother?