Good Question

I recently spoke at His Mansion and shared some of what I’ve been through the last four years—cancer, bone marrow transplant, 30 chemo treatments, 33 radiation treatments, auto accident, 7 surgeries, widowhood. Afterward someone asked why I just didn’t give up. Why fight so hard to stay alive?

Good question.

I’m ready to go but I hang around for a few reasons:

It’s not my time yet: I have things to do, people to see, books to write, grandkids to spoil, wine to make. I choose to stay engaged until my equipment fails.

I don’t believe in reincarnation: I only get one outing in this theme park and I want to experience as much as I can, even if it includes rides that make me throw up.

I don’t want to hurt my loved ones: I saw—and felt—the agony caused by Susan’s death and I want to put off repeating that trauma as long as possible.

Still, life can be a heavy burden at times. Why does it have to be so stinkin’ convoluted and caustic? Why does God allow all the painful iterations when he could have written a cleaner OS for creation? (Think carefully before saying he was constricted by outside forces.)

I don’t have good answers for most of my “why” questions, but I choose to stick around and keep learning.

Why do you bother?


8 thoughts on “Good Question

  1. What do you think your thinking would be if ?????????——–In addition to all of your horrible losses you added a couple more to the list. 1.Financial Ruin 2. Constant Physical Pain. Just the financial part of loss is so overwhelming as it changes what you can do for and with your grandchildren. You may not have a place to live or a wonderful support system in place. You couldn’t travel, eat out or even go to the movies. You couldn’t order coffee at the coffee shop. Everyone’s pain is different and every loss is personnel. I found that loosing someone to life is sometimes harder then loosing them to death. Life and experiences are in a constant change and for every individual, it’s way different.


  2. I bother because JESUS has not called me home yet…It is HIS decision, not mine…And HE is with me until I go….So I am content to stay as long as HE wants me to…Still have work to do until that day….

  3. Love. Still enjoying the challenge, the journey of ups and downs, the hope of great companionship and adventures yet to be.

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