Between Now and Then

Some friends and I were recently reminiscing about our early days in the faith, back when we were on fire and full of answers. We had each moved cross-country to join vibrant churches where we witnessed amazing things: People healed, marriages restored, addicts rescued and lives transformed—including ours.

Life is sweeter and simpler near the headwaters but we can’t stay there. Nor can we portage around all the cataracts and waterfalls downriver. Time’s relentless flow eventually disperses communities, dissolves relationships, dampens passion and, in my case, disturbs faith.

Most painful has been the change in my relationships with God and with my wife, Susan. These life partners shaped who I am and were the source of wonderful blessings for me and many others. Susan died fifteen months ago; God has seemed distant for much longer. I don’t doubt their continued existence but I no longer enjoy their presence like before—and I miss them terribly.

There’s no going back to what used to be; there’s only going toward what will be, which gives me hope.

And there’s making the most of the days between now and then.

One thought on “Between Now and Then

  1. Mike, as you know over the past years i also struggled with my God relationship and Christianity. I still have a strong faith in God but have given up on Christianity. Your blog breaks my heart but then i realize we all are suffering and living with loss. I lost Christianity, people i love and loved, health, millions of dollars and the ability to function as i always did. I refuse to give up and sometime it’s all i can do to make it through the day. I will not only comeback but will be the best at whatever i do, because i can, with Gods help. It sucks getting through this life.


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