Disinclined to Continue


My friend Scotty lost his battle with cancer yesterday. He outlived his prognosis by a few years and stayed coherent and engaged almost to the end.

Scotty was a year younger than me and diagnosed with cancer a year after me. We talked a lot about how to live with the Big C and how to die well. He opted out of high dose chemo and chose to spend his last months at home reading books, listening to music, watching the news and bantering with family and friends.

A while back I ran across a phrase I’ve thought about using on my headstone. It reminds me of Scotty. Here’s the backstory:

The Society of Creative Anachronism (SCA) reenacts medieval tournaments in period garb with historically accurate weapons. In the course of fierce hand-to-hand combat, if a knight is struck a mortal blow he will drop his sword and fall to the ground. Rather than say he is dead, the knight simply says he is, “Disinclined to continue.”

I love that attitude in the face of the inevitable. Scotty had it. He might be forced to his knees here, but after the battle he knew he would go to his Father’s house.

I’m sad for all of us he leaves behind but happy for Scotty; another fighter home from the war.

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